Spiritual buzzwords like manifestation, love and light seem to be the latest trend on social media. We’re being told that our dream lives are closer than ever — all we’ve got to do is ask the universe for what we want. While this sounds like a great time (don’t get me wrong, it is), many seem to be coming up short. That’s because the process of manifestation is much more than angel numbers, positive thoughts and high hopes. To receive, we must genuinely believe in ourselves and our worth. To get there, we must face our shadow, which includes accepting, healing, and integrating all parts of ourselves; the yummy and the seemingly indigestible. So, where to start? It begins with awakening to our multidimensionality; understanding that while we are human, we are also spirit — we are ego and soul, and both parts share equal importance.
I believe that we are here to temporarily experience what it is to be a human being. Though I can’t intellectually or mentally understand the entire scope of it, the fact that we know energy cannot be created or destroyed — only changed, leads me to to believe there’s a lot more to existence than my human brain can comprehend. So far, I understand ‘reality’ to be a set of ‘levels’ or dimensions of energetic vibration that are attainable via the cultivation of awareness. We cultivate this awareness by connecting with a part ourselves beyond the brain — our consciousness; also known as our ‘soul’ or ‘higher self’. Having personally shifted from one level to another, I know that we experience reality through our level of awareness, and there are infinite realities to align with. For this post, I’ll stick to 3D, the dimension of consciousness that Earth and human beings have existed in for some time.
The 3rd dimension is a dense form of consciousness dominated by physical and material concerns. People who operate from this level are therefore super focused on making money and collecting things; they are not interested in seeking a deeper meaning of life, questioning who they are, or why it is they are here. A 3D reality is all about a fleeting existence; being here for a good time, not a long time. The priority is gaining as much as possible, with the mindset that we are all in competition; those who have the ‘most’ are in the ‘best’ position. This level of consciousness is upheld by dualistic thinking and the creation of hierarchies; good vs bad, rich vs poor, white vs black, straight vs gay, etc. It’s in this dualistic consciousness that the human part of ourselves, our ego, has become warped and hostile.
When healthy, ego is a necessary part of this human experience; it helps us navigate this physical realm, giving us a personality to work with so we can interact with others. It is also designed to keep us safe, however, at some point in the evolution of the human species, the ego got caught up in the density of 3D consciousness and turned sour, becoming obsessed with the paradigms of the level — mostly rooted in power and control; it became trapped in these belief systems, unable to ascend to higher levels. Though all levels are neutral from a soul perspective, since it is through the ego that our soul experiences being human, there is pain and suffering involved in 3D ego consciousness. We suffer because we believe we are ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than each other, depending on which ‘side’ of the paradigms we find ourselves on (rich/poor, etc). We compete with one another, so everyone beomes a competitor or enemy. The longer we believe in these paradigms, the longer our ego stays trapped in 3D, and our soul continues to experience human life though that lens.
What makes it most difficult for us to ascend to higher levels of consciousness is a wounded ego. A wounded ego is created through a mix of conditioning and trauma. Conditioning is simply a set of behavioural responses, and trauma is any experience that our minds deemed to be unsafe or distressing to the point of overwhelm. Conditioning and trauma exist within the competitive, enemy-based paradigms of 3D consciousness. And as we are most heavily conditioned during the the first seven years of our lives, we are at the mercy of authority figures around us; during these formative years, we are much like sponges, passively absorbing information. We are not yet old enough to seek our own understanding by doing research, and as such, be discerning about what information we accept as truth and what information we discard. So, our conditioned responses are direct products of our environments and the people in our lives; family members, teachers, cultures, countries, religions, etc. We come into this world effortlessly being ourselves, and as children, we struggle to understand why it is we can’t just live like that — free, and authentically. Yet, we are quickly taught how we should behave. And while we understand that we’re free and safe to be ourselves when we’re alone, we learn that our behaviour elicits a response from other people; whether the feedback we recieve is positive or negative, it becomes part of our conditioning. Through this process, we learn what parts of ourselves we should show and what parts we should hide or alter.
We take this conditioning into our adult lives and we try hard to exist within the lines of what we’ve been told is true. In this sense, we really know nothing about ourselves — since 3D ego consciousness lives in the mind, and the mind only knows what it’s been told, our realities are based on what everyone else around us has told us is true. This ‘truth’ can translate into us believing that we are unloveable, unworthy, unacceptable…The longer we live like this, believing the things our minds have been programmed to tell us, the more we suffer. We carry the conditioning and hurt around with us, acting in the ways we were taught we should. As a result, we live unhappy and confused lives because we’re not being authentic, fearing we’ll be rejected or punished for being ourselves. We struggle with these feelings and often try to avoid them; we attempt to numb it out with work, sex or drugs. Deep down we know we’re unhappy because we’re not following our hearts, but the fear of being ourselves is so strong because we’ve quite literally been programmed against it.
When the conditioning is deeply rooted, we can live from that level of wounded ego consciousness for a long time before we find ourselves so unhappy that we become desperate for change. It’s in these low moments that we can discover we are more than our ego, more than human; we discover the ‘being’ part of ourselves. This process is very much like waking up from a dream; hence the term awakening. It is simply the realisation that you are not your mind or anything of it; thoughts, beliefs, opinions, etc. You realise that you are in-fact a higher level of consciousness which watches, observes and experiences these human parts of you. Once awake, you become acutely aware that you have been living on autopilot, letting your conditioned ego lead the way. This can be disorienting as it triggers fear in the ego; it has been uncovered and it knows you’ll be wanting to take your power back. This means death for the ego, and when you are deeply identified with it, it can feel like the death of ‘you’…This can result in what feels like a tug of war between your ego and your higher self for power and survival, yet it is simply the ego resisting before settling into a new and improved role.
It’s during this period that we become aware of the ways we’ve been betraying ourselves; we can suddenly see the limiting beliefs we’ve been reinforcing, the hurt that we’ve been avoiding — dormant and repressed feelings of shame, guilt, anger and sadness come to the surface of our awareness, wanting to be processed. These emotions and patterns have been with us since age seven, but since they were subconscious, it is only through awakening that we begin to notice and see them. It can be a confusing and uncomfortable time, so the best thing to do is commit to a self-reflective practice like meditation or journaling to maintain distance and a higher perspective; the released emotions of the wounded ego can be very strong, and it’s not unusual to get swept up in them. Remind yourself that your ego is not going anywhere; it is a deliberate component of the human experience. It exists as long as you are in your human form, and will only cease once you leave the body. The more you deny it, the more you deny a part of yourself. In fact, the more you actively try to suppress or deny your ego aspect, the worse your experience of it will feel.
The key is not to rid your ego aspect, but integrate it; to be gentle, patient and loving enough to be there for that human part of yourself, to give the hurting parts the healing they need. Maintain a distance, commit to self-reflective practices and cultivate your awareness. By doing this, you can move into a level of consciousness that allows you to use our ego as a tool to navigate the world. You can move from being immersed in the sea of the ego to standing alongside it, simply watching. As you watch, your awareness grows, and you are eventually able to begin consciously responding to the events of your life, rather than reacting unconsciously from your conditioning. This is where the practice of manifestation becomes your reality. By clearing the egoic structures that have held you back for so long, you can step into your soul, become more of your actual self, reclaim your personal power, and create the life you want.